My RABF was never violent when he was getting off the pain pills. He had some problems with anger--he was moody and would start yelling. However, he never did anyhing violent. Violence would be a deal-breaker for me. My mom has been in many violent relationships. I've seen what it does to the abused and to the abused family up front. It is terrible, and the abuse gets worse. Yeah, the abuser makes lots of excuses and promises. One of my mom's bf/abusers blamed it on nicotine withdrawels! She would make excuses for him, but then he'd be even more violent a few days later. She ended up in the hospital due to the abuse. She has come close to being killed a few times.