Originally Posted by
KelleyF 
Zoso....
Yestersay on another thread I commented on what a loss it was to your XGF because you had given her such a generous love ... and that most women would have appreciated it and reciprocated.
I hope my comment didnt set you off on negative thinking; how could I have been so generous of myself... and yet got nothing positive in return.
First off, during your whole relationship you had to be getting something you needed in return.... were there good times, or do you really think it was just your desire to 'save her' that drove you?
Second thing; just try to look at it as a growing experience. It wasnt really time lost if you learn from this relationship, and the result improves your overall life. She wasnt the 'one', but maybe this is what you needed to experience in order to prepare yourself for the 'right' relationship; the one that will last 'forever' and make you truly happy.
Yes I can say 'forever' because hey its almost Valentines Day and mushy stuff like that is totally acceptable. - lol
With my BF.... with all the relationships Ive had that failed.... this is the thinking Ive tried to maintain. So far.... its worked for me....least Im still Smiling.
Hugs,
Kel
When we met, she was as kind and as generous as anyone could possibly be. But she was using then, too. She didn't tell me about her history until a few months into it. And as time went on, that history expanded...and expanded...and expanded...
Percocet was her DoC. If that wasn't available, she'd drink vodka before going to work. When she's using, she's a different animal. But once she got clean, her uglies came out. That's when the Borderline Storm started to rage. So, I think I stayed in part because I was waiting for the person that I met and fell far to come back. Only that didn't happen. And it wasn't going to happen.
I honestly didn't know what I was dealing with. No clue. In hindsight, she's probably the ugliest person I've ever known, which is why I'm not unhappy that she's gone.
What I kick myself for is not having the courage to kick her loose last March. It would have been best for me, and I believe it would have been best for her, as well.
I think, after this experience, I want to be alone for a long, long time. The only people I'm not guarded around are my two closest friends. Everyone else, I'm keeping at arms length.