I'm essentially in the same boat. I can call my Pain mgm doctor tomorrow morning and have pills by noon. It's that easy *BUT* I'll be at the gym at noon tomorrow instead.
Non addicts always talk about people having a "choice". Well.... They can say that because they AREN'T ADDICTS!!!!!!
I'm forcing myself to get myself past the point of the desire and addiction to make that "choice". Of course, I'm not going to get to that point unless I do the hard things to get there. I'm six weeks out and I know I can't make that choice yet. Of course, my pain is manageable right now despite needing some help with sleep (back pain makes me toss and turn).
On the bright side though, I am rather enjoying the fact that I can laugh, have emotions, drive without worry, have enjoyable sex, no constant indigestion, have dreams, go to the restroom on a "regular" basis, remember things, etc...
I know that if I take 1 pill, I'm going to take two then three. Then, 2 weeks later I'll be right back to day one and feeling miserable despite the fact I have more pills.
Now, let's throw into the mix the fact I started seeing a shrink last month. That alone has made things allot better! As a matter of fact I MIGHT be taking medication to address an ADHD diagnosis- which explains my lifelong need for excitement and compulsions. Might that is. I know I can't take those meds with pain meds. Yeah, I know - that opens a whole other can of worms but as I said in the last post, I'm taking this whole thing one day at a time.