(((Bill))) Thank you. Myy niece and I are often at odds because I am the ONLY one in her life that is hell-bent on teaching her that actions have consequences. I do think her current bf is a really good influence, but if she gets ticked off at me? It's okay - I've repeatedly told her she can get mad at me, I love her and am simply trying to teach her what I've learned over the years.
The best I can do is set a good example of accepting people for who/how they are and not letting it affect me. She truly has a long way to go - the person closest to her is my stepmom, the raging codie/addict who taught her a pill will make everything better.
I was told to "butt out" on how dad/stepmom were raising her, but now that she's 18? She knows how much I love her, we consider each other "sisters" even though we're 32 years apart, but she's also learned that her manipulation methods don't work on me. I have boundaries and I've yet to let her cross them. She's TRIED, but it doesn't work
She's screamed "I HATE you!!' then called my stepmom in tears, for what she said and she didn't mean it (not ME, but stepmom..apron strings are apparently pretty tough to break).
Generations of A, ACOA and codieness and teenage rebellion are not going to wear off easily, but I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and pray some of it sinks in
Hugs and prayers,
Amy