Originally Posted by
Loneywife 
I know I am probably part of the problem too, as I've also brought him to the hospital when he's overdosed, and he had access to our wedding money that I didn't protect well enough.
IMO taking him to the hodpital when he overdosed is NOT enabling - he could die of an overdose! and did you know that he was going to steal your wedding money?? Don't be so hard on yourself! You did not give him the drugs or your wedding money. My son stole from me so much that I had to start leaving my money at work.
BUT, the parents giving him pills and money is enabling!! The guilt of 'what did we do to make him this way' is so painful.
It's hard for parents to see their child suffer and they may not realize that they are doing more harm than good. It took me a long time to see that 'saving' my son was stopping him from bottoming out, if he ever does. His life, his choices!
His girlfriend (only met once) was also telling me how bad of a mother I was for not helping him, leaving me nasty messages and emails, I finally had to call the police to stop the harrassment. Then I found out she has threatened some of his female friends. Now she is in detox so that explains a lot.
Some of my family would be having a fit because I was not 'rescuing' my 33yo son. I may never see him again and I have to face that reality, but I can't help him and I have to face that reality too. I still hope that this is bottom for him.
Today is especially hard for me, he is homeless (as far as I know), no money, no job, no friends ( she has cut off all ties he has with friends and much of his family, his fault too but still sad) and this weekend is really cold. It really messess with your heart!
This online book is written by a psychotherapist, the one parent in the world we WOULD think could help their AS! She gives you an insite into the parents view. She also has excellent advice to help us work through the guilt to relaize we can not help them, they must help themsleves. We are powerless to make them change.
It is a very good decision for you to seek help, I wish there had been as much help out there when mine started more than 20 years ago.
Have a good weekend you deserve it.
Letting go of our adult children—Book introduction