I think a happy ending is available for you when you turn the focus to yourself and put forth energy in what you need. My RABF was addicted to pain killers for 7 years. For those seven years, he slowly spiraled out of control. I easily responsded in a codependent manner. You see, my mom is a drug addict, and my dad is a drug addict/alcoholic. So, It is very easy for me to excuse behavior, to try to hide someone else's behavior, to try to fix somebody, etc.
For a long time, I was in denial about my bf's drug use. I was not handling my own life very well, and I was pretending that everthing was o.k. I wasn't only pretending to the outside world--I was pretending to myself.
It's hard to say what finally made me "hit bottom." I had been looking at this website. I had posted a few times. I wasn't really willing to admit that bf had a problem. Suddenly, it got to the point where I could not handle him saying one thing and doing another. The constant lies finally got to me. I was finally willing to admit that my life had gotten out of control.
I started--slowly--to work on myself. I pictured handing my bf over to God and to his angels (that was easiest for me). I read Codependent No More about 10 times, and underlined it all and made notes throughout the book.
In the meantime, my bf went through 1 recovery, relapsed for about 7 months, and then went back into recovery. He has been in recovery for over 2 years. I know that he is completely responsible for his recovery. He made the choice to be clean, and he did a lot of hard work to get to that point. He still works very hard on his recovery.
Right now, our life is pretty good. I am working on myself. I don't ask him millions of questions, I don't go though his things, and I pretty much trust him. He has been over for over 2 years. I will never ever put myself into a position that I can't remove myself from. That means, that I constantly have in my head what I would do if I had to get out of the relationship. Our bank accounts have always been separate. I'm working on my career so that I have more of an ability to be self-sufficient. I try to develop my emotional self so that I don't feel dependent on somebody else.
I would be very upset if bf relapsed. However, I know that I can take care of myself. I know that I have the physical and emotional tools to survive, if you know what I mean. For me, that's what recovery means.
BTW, my recovery is a never ending process. I always have to work on it. My parents are active addicts and mentally ill. I will probably always be strugling with trying to fix the world. I have to work daily on admitting that I am powerless over the addicts in my life, and I hand them over to God. Good luck on your journey!