WtBH and lillamy,
My dad took responsibility for the severe beatings he doled out to me as a child and adolescent, he said, I am sorry, I did what I thought was best, I know now that I could and should have done better, I am so glad that in spite of me you have grown up to be a man that I am very proud of. We now have an excellent relationship, our only real obstacle in his enabling and co-dependancy of my mothers alcoholism, but that is his life and I am learning to deatch from that part of it.
My mom on the other hand, still drinking 6 bottles of wine a day at 76, still will not admist to having a drinking problem, and denies our house was ever anything but unicorns and rainbows growing up. Our relationship is distant and strained.
I gues my point is do not be to hard on yourselves, as long as you are honest with your children and admit your mistakes, then I beleive they will forgive you and love you even more.