I'm not discounting in any way the memories you have all recounted, your feelings about what should have been done, and your feelings about what would be the right thing to do today in a similar situation.
It is important to point out however that more then sometimes, a dysfunctional family can be far better then a broken one...and that a lot of families are dysfunctional. It is important to know that fighting, tension, and emotional hurts in childhood are more common then uncommon. It is important to point out that people are far from perfect, and that parents who manage to keep a roof overhead and food on the table while not physically abusing thier children could have been a lot worse.
A mere 150 years ago children were property to be seen and not heard, were working in sweatshops thorughout the Western world, beaten by bosses and strangers alike, and with fewer protections against inhuman treatment then even animals. This is the world my (European) forefathers came from...this is the world my parents strove to transend. If I hold them to the standards of modern child services, I could make them out to be pretty darn bad I suppose...but when I hold them to historical standards and remember thier humanity is no less then mine, they look pretty good.
I choose to remember the good things, to downplay and accept the bad, and to be a good person in the here and now. Its all I can do.