The hardest part of the post-divorce journey for me has been seeing the effect of alcoholism on my children. These little people that I would die for in a heartbeat, and that I yet chose to not protect. That guilt will never go away.
My oldest (who is out of the home and alcohol and drug free and not dating because "relationships seem to just not be worth the problems they bring") said to me, "I know you wanted to protect us, but the fact is, you didn't. I know you couldn't. I don't blame you. But the effect on us children is the same. We know you love us and want the best for us. But the fact that you were an adult who could have prevented all that bullsh*t and you didn't is still there. I don't blame you for it. You did the best you could. But it will always hurt that your love for us wasn't bigger than your fear for so many years."