Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
AXGF Won't Leave Me Alone
My AXGF is still pulling stunts, 4 weeks after she left. As this is a public forum, I won't get into details, but it's pretty hateful.
One of my buddies has been staying with me for the past few weeks. And when he got wind of what she did, he got extremely upset. As was I, for a few moments. But we went to the bar at one of our local restaurants, and we started talking it out. I used the quote about how having hate in your heart is the lowest form of misery...and the more I thought about that, the quicker I calmed down.
Having a dual diagnosis must be awful. I don't see how anyone in recovery can do the things my AXGF has done and be at peace. How can anyone be at peace when you're intentionally trying to hurt someone? Thank God I'm not her, and I told my buddy to be thankful he's not her, too.
I've had issues with anger. My temper, when you stroke me the wrong way, can be pretty brutal. But since being in Al Anon, I've learned how to dial it way, way back. Six months ago if my AXGF pulled this, I would have opened fire. Today, I won't. What's the point? Feeding hate, feeding anger...how does that help me recover? Simple: it doesn't. It doesn't mean I don't get angry. What it means is I don't act out.
I feel sorry for my AXGF now. I'm pretty convinced that she'll never change. And thankfully, she's no longer my problem.