Originally Posted by
HopefulGF65 
Just out of curiosity, how can I tell what is sincere kindness, that I know he is capable of, and what is manipulative behavoir - even if he doesn't realize that he's doing it?
I'm starting to doubt what's real and what's the disease?
Honey, I don't know. I honestly don't.
Is he capable of kindness? Absolutely. But he's also capable of a bunch of other things, too.
We're all capable of doing horrendous, manipulative behavior under the right circumstances. With addicts, though, the probability increases. So, it's not a question of what he's capable of doing. It's really a question of:
a) what you're doing to take care of
you
b) what are your boundaries
And that's when you have to do your best, most honest thinking.
ZoSo