Hey, welcome to SR. What you wrote reminds me of some of the things I thought and did before I got sober for good this summer. It was always "just this one last time." For me though, there's always a really good reason to have just one last time out drinking. I never wanted to quit even though drinking was making me miserable. My thoughts and words said one thing, my actions another. I let this go on for 2 years - I was drinking and I knew it was wrong. I'd come here or go to a meeting, feel really certain, and then have one last something come up - a holiday, birthday, rough day, great day... it just never ended. This summer, I quit right before I got married because I finally had a seizure one morning after a hard drinking night. That wasn't exactly a great time to quit drinking from an alcoholic's perspective as I had to go to a bunch of parties sober... even stayed sober on my wedding day despite being stressed out to the max with all the family and attention and fuss. The point is, you're probably never going to wake up and be like "Okay, today's the day I quit forever." If you are looking for reasons to put it off, you'll find plenty I'm afraid.