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Old 02-06-2012, 08:11 PM
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zoso77
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A Few Days Away to Get My Head Together

I went into a little bit of a dark place late last week. It's hard to process what you know to be true while concurrently dealing with feelings of betrayal, anger and sadness.

On Saturday morning, I was at Barnes and Noble reading Matt Damon's questionnaire in Vanity Fair. In it was the question What do regard as the lowest depth of misery?

His answer? Having hate in your heart.

That permeated my conscience throughout the weekend. Having read a lot of stories here, and having heard a lot of stories in Al Anon, has really driven home how sick addicts are. It's not just the physical dependance on drugs and/or alcohol. There is the mental illness component and the spiritual emptiness that goes along with it. And what I've again realized is it doesn't do us any good to carry anger towards the addict around with us. It only poisons us.

As I recover from betrayal, not only am I thankful my AXGF is gone, I'm equally thankful I don't have to sit with the things she's got to sit with. What she's done is between her and God. I'll continue to pray for her, not for her sake, but for mine.
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