Hope works- thank you for your response. I feel you have given me an honest response with many cautions and some references for me to continue to inform myself. That is exactly what I needed-not to feel that I am on trial. Naive you certainly have done your homework about me and I cannot dispute or deny any of the things you mentioned. Perhaps someone else will read this and think that I have made all the wrong choices and I can be a warning that leads someone else in the right direction. However I am satisfied with my choices up to this point and am looking to make more of them in my time. I understand that some people have had to endure some terrible hardship whether emotional, physical or financial because of their A. That has not been my experience. Lillamy, I know you have closed the door to your A out of necessity and though you may harbor bitterness toward him you still manage to show compassion on this board. Your strength is admirable. Thank you. To take the disease analogy one step further...say you had a loved one with an incurable disease, but one that could be managed with the right combination of nutrition, medication, counseling yet they would not follow through on treatment. You found yourself getting infected and so quarantined yourself for protection. Once you became healthier, and your immune system could handle it, and you made sure you wore protective gear and had all the right doctors lined up for treatment, wouldn't you give it 1 more try? Rather than watching them die and saying there is nothing for me to do unless he gets help himself? That just does not sit right with me. Whether that is a sign that I need to do more work or not is up to me.
This board is a wonderful place to seek encouragement, support, and information. It has helped me tremendously. We all need to remember to keep what we want and leave the rest.