My son is 33 and started using at an early age. I have been through all of the drama, crisis, theft, jails, 'get your out of control under control' bad parent accusations all as a single without the other parent involved at all (excpet to cause more trouble).My son had been a functioning alcoholic and user, always living with friends and always bad relationships, always borrowing money, the same drama all of you deal with.
After being single for 20 years I met a wonderful man and have been married for 12 years. One of the very first discussions was to NOT have anyone else move in with us. It came in very handy many times!!!
4 years ago we retired and moved out of the city where my son lives. 2 years ago he called me and had met the 'girl of his dreams'. After all of the drama of his past relationships I was neutral and didn't meet or talk to her. He was vague on where they were living and I thought they were renting a home. They were living with her mother and I guess he didn't want me to know.
They had started college amd both were working at part time jobs. My gifted son that I had to force to take the GED when he dropped out was on the deans list.
He apologized for being a horrible child (his words) and I began to actually ENJOY his phone calls. About 1 year being together they came to vist and she fought with people on the cell phone a lot. I wasn't really impressed but as long as he was happy OK with me. I didn't have to live with her and she was polite to me THEN!
Shortly after that she starting sending emails complaining about him not working, blah blah blah and I ignored them. He would call and say things were OK but I could tell they weren't getting along as well.
Last Aug they had a fight and she called me on my cell, yelling, cussing so I quit answering the phone. Then the nasty emails so I blocked her, so she started in on my daughter that she has never met. Had my daughter crying.
Son says they have broken up and he is staying with a friend and no way to contact him, he will call me, no address. Several months later he starts sending me emails saying he is homeless and just going in friends homes to shower eat, but his professors now of his situation and are proud of him for still being on the deans list. He needs money. When he asks me for money I keep telling him you have to get a job. Stupid me fell for the homeless act and I did send hime money to finish this semester and I just kept getting emails for more. I said no get a job!!! but I had already given him a lot.
This is all lies to get money!!!! I had to call the police to stop her harrassment and the police gave me the number to speak with the mother. They are using drugs, party a lot, fight a lot and he cuts himself and threatens suicide. He is really going to college but he still lives there.
They both has started using and drinking again and she is very jealous and made nasty and threatening calls so he is cut off from family and all of his friends.
She is in detox and mother kicked him out so he Baker Acted himself! He wanted money and I told him he would have a lot of the money I had sent him if he had not partied so much. He is now homeless, shelters are full, no job, no money, no friends (which maybe a good thing as I'm sure most were partiers too).
I saw what my son is for one year and I really liked him, now he is back to the selfish drama druggie! I hope this is rock bottom, how much lower can you get. I refuse to send money, actually there is no way thank God, but I am just sick and worried, and angry that he borught the b**** into my families life.
I pray for us all that they are safe and can get help!
