You know, reading these posts, I realized something. I left the end of day/return time open bc I was afraid to **** him off. I still am saying or not saying certain things in hopes of not setting him off. When I've tried to stick to the letter of the law without any manipulation I get raged at (along the likes of "you're so controlling", "girls we better be sure we aren't 1 minute late of mommy will call the police" - actually SAID to the girls!). So I guess I set myself up a bit bc I didn't set a return time and that probably inadvertantly sent AH the message that he had an opening to contact me throughout the day.
I am just so weary after these past few weeks, of being insulted and even though I can almost entirely ignore it now, it still sucks. So, I think subconsciously I DID leave the end time open (or simply didn't remind him of when he should be back) bc I just didn't want to a) hear more griping toward me and b) I thought maybe he'd be better with the girls and not rant about me (D6 has started to tell me things he says about me and I hate how upset I see that makes her).
Once again, I tried to control something that AH might or might not do and clearly that blew up in my face.