Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
apologies are part of the cycle of abuse. done to keep you in check, get you all starry eyed - parrots can be taught to speak - quit listening to his WORDS, watch his actions. off today to go hang with his high school buddies???? my how grown up......
you don't OWE him anything. relationships aren't about keeping score, or handing out receipts for services rendered. if both persons are not growing and thriving then its a toxic dysfunctional mess, calling out the worst in each other. it's like the difference between eating carrots or crisco.......
Anvilhead you bring up a very important point. The apologies ARE a key component to the abuse cycle verbal physical sexual or otherwise.
It's not just to keep their victim engaged it gives the abuser a relief from any guilt they are feeling. The apologies absolve the guilt so they cn tell themselves well all is good I apologized.
My RExAB is the best apologizer I know...he gives you the tears while looking into your eyes; does the flowers, cards with heartfelt words, gifts of clothes jewelry, many promises, and if those things aren't working he will start calling my mom or friends and tell them how bad he feels for what he's done....
I TAUGHT HIM THAT THESE APOLOGIES WORKED....until 5 weeks ago. YEAAAAA ME!