jamaicamecrazy

We've been separated for almost 2 years. I have been going to Al Anon for almost 2 years. I struggle to detach with love and Let Go and Let God. I know those are valuable tools for me and I have used them in the past. No contact is the basic rule unless I have a question about the house, or as a general birthday or holiday greeting. He never gets in touch with me unless he suddenly realizes he might have a piece of mail at the house. I stopped the reminders and let him take care of his own responsibilities.
With that said, I do keep in touch with his sister and we can have an hour conversation that does not include him. My last conversation with her we talked about Christmas- the first since their dad's passing. She mentioned that she had to set some boundaries about AH next visit with her. She also mentioned the I word. She is quite concerned about him.

I know the the general consensus from this community and AL ANon on intervention. However I have been doing some research on other recovery methods and ideology about getting help for loved ones just as a way to stay informed on new ideas and prepared for the "what if".

The fact that my SIL-an RA mentioned it made me sit up and take notice. Part of this whole- "it's in God's hands" thing is allowing me to hear the notion coming from an outside source at a time when I am much more able to handle it and see it from a different perspective. I would never have been able to consider this a couple of years ago. And I am still not too confident that I will be strong enough to accept if he chooses not to go into treatment.
I would need to talk to my son and daughter as well and see if they were willing to participate. I would also have to do more research which brings me dangerously close to the territory of putting too much focus back on him. Will this process set my recovery back? Still thinking about that-saying the serenity prayer quite often.

How will this help my recovery? I keep this question close at hand. I think that this may be the last thing I need to do to be able to say I tried everything I knew how and truly move on. I've been feeling stuck for a while now.

I'd like to hear your valuable opinions, especially from people who have done an intervention and if they thought it was a helpful experience for their A and for themselves and their family. I guess I am more focused on how it would affect us at this point. That's progress for me right there.