I sort of feel like this is far more control/power/abusive behavior than it is alcoholic, though right now it's hard to know whether his jacka$$ personality and such antics like these are impacted by his untreated disease or bc he is a jerk at the core. Either way I am glad to be done with him and clearly need to set even firmer boundaries than I have.
I know I still have a long way to go but I felt pleased in thinking this through this morning to realize that
a) I didn't get caught up in the madness and debate with him and let it ruin my day
b) I didn't let fear of his being angry at me stop me from having a great day
c) I didn't let it impact today either-- my girls are napping (rarity around here) and we are making football shaped cookies to take with us to the neighbors for a Superbowl party later (I am in Patriots land!)
In the past, I would have let yesterday ruin my day/weekend and would have made myself sick over it.
I realize I am spending energy talking about it, but I am doing so mainly bc I feel thrilled with myself for not letting it get to me like it once would have and I guess I like having a journal of sorts through my posts so that I can see progress. When I look back at posts from a year or so ago I am shocked at how miserable and stuck I was.