A warm welcome to SR, jbdream. You are in the right place. We know what it is to be shocked to find out someone we love has been secretly using drugs, fooling us, lying to us, leading a secret life. It hurts. It devastates us. And we are afraid what the future may hold.
I'm sure you have so many hopes for your long-lost love, and you need not yet let go of those.
The most important thing is to accept responsibility right now to research what addictive disease is, to educate yourself about the realities of having a drug addict--recovering or using--in your life, and to right now decide whether you will meet the challenge of being the partner of a recovering drug addict by doing what YOU have to do.
What you have to do is get some serious one-on-one support for the long and sometimes difficult road ahead. You will be an automatic codependent. So this means you will need a weekly Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting, counseling if you can afford it, and continuing to read and/or communicate here on SR. Otherwise you will lose your mind. You will unravel and lose your mind, in an addictive relationship, without support. His addiction can easily control both of you.
God brought this man back into your life for reasons you cannot now understand, given the shock and confusion of your situation. But one thing about being involved with a drug addict: it lights a fire under our butt to grow up. We have to learn to face reality, deal with reality, get gut honest, use our intuition, and to accept no BS from an addict trying to con us in his disease.
You have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to be the lifelong partner of a recovering drug addict. No one can say right now how this will all work out for you. But for sure you have taken a major step by posting on this forum and admitting you need direction.
That is recovery. I hope you will continue.
Some good books are "The Addictive Personality" and "Codependent No More," for starters. Also "When Painkillers Become Dangerous" (Dr. Drew).
The links under the "Sticky" headings will lead you to a wealth of vital information. You really must educate yourself. This is a cunning and powerful mental disease and you cannot assume you know anything at all about your abf's situation, his past use, or his present state of mind. Addicts lie all the time and yours will, too.
But there is hope.
So welcome. Post anytime you are confused or need feedback.