Steve, FIRST-if you are still feeling suicidal it is imperative that you go to your nearest emergency room or call 911. It does not matter if you have money or a job, the ER is required by law to help you and to provide you with low and no-cost referrals. I would recommend that you go to Loma Linda hospital as they have a very good mental health program. Do that NOW, and let us know what happened...
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Be well, and have a great 24...