lillamy- wow, you totally just described my way of communicating and how it is i wind up getting jerked around. i offer more info than is necessary, assuming that xAH for ex will take the info and get a move on, and like in your case, it turns into "well, wtbh why don't you just do it". i guess i am still stuck in fairly co-dependent mode and until i read your post i didn't grasp just how much i set myself up.
a normal person would appreciate ideas and take the initiative on their own to solve their problem. but my xAH and many other family members on both his and my side, see suggestions as implied offers to do for them what they can do on their own. and saying no ='s you're selfish so i have been trapped in this pattern for a long time.
i love all that i continue to learn. it is liberating! thanks for your post! you have no idea how much it helped. from now on, however unnatural it feels, i will give a short and sweet response to those who i know will take advantage of anything i offer (give an inch take a mile kind of folks) and i will deal with the fall out as well as my discomfort as i back away from my continued codie behavior.
i don't think i realized until right now just how codependent my way of communicating can be. offering more than is needed or asked for and then being upset when the person that info is offered to expects me to fix their problem is all caused bc of my offering more than is needed.
the 'don't do for others what they can do for themselves' has taken on a whole new meaning.