((Seek)) I'm sorry you are struggling.
That's an interesting question that I've never actually asked my husband. You see, the person who sent me searching one night when I found this forum was my stepson.
I love my stepson, but that bond is no where near as strong as it is for his father. We both pray a lot....every morning and evening letting "Jr." and his life be in the control of Jr. and his HP.
It helps, too, that he is not a daily part of our lives. He is an adult, leads his own life, and he now lives in another town in this state. So, we have sporadic contact, but at least we know he is still alive.
If we had to have a front seat to all his daily addiction drama, I don't think it would be as easy. But my experience is that it does get easier with time as you enforce your own boundaries and detach with love.
Many hugs and prayers for you and yours, HG