dancing now- yes, that is pretty much what i told d6. i explained that she loved her hair, that i love it, her friends love it and people who she herself thinks are cool also love it so one person's opinion is just that- one person. it's just remarkable the impact 1 negative comment vs 100 good ones can have on a very sensitive child. i had the same short hair when she was a baby so i've shown her pictures and she isn't constantly mentioning being upset about it. she just stunned me with how upset she was at seeing her picture. she doesn't look like a boy at all and if anything she gets compliments constantly since getting her hair cut bc it's so stunning on her... it's that it was her grandmother that i think upsets her.
in any event, i am done trying to make things good for my MIL with the girls. D6 has a strong opinion and strong will and she has every right to feel however she wants to toward her grandmother and i won't force a r/s on her any more than i will stop her from having one. i just think, like jack russell girl said, that kids are smart and will see through toxicity pretty quick.
i talked to a few good friends tonight about this and they and you all have helped me feel better. i was attaching way too much significance to one person (MIL). the people in D6's life who she loves and respects and values opinions of, all love her whatever she looks like. those are the people we will spend time with. i need to reframe my view of things-- instead of giving power to my in laws and AH, i need to focus on the vast majority of positive people in my life...
tomorrow will be a new day and a good day.
i am grateful to you all. thank you.