Are you in Al-anon? I feel the same way about leaving my ex. It has been a long process and I am not going to lie and say it gets better, but it is the right thing. She might get better, she might not, but your son deserves to be stable. You going back home is for her, not you. It will be oK. Like I said give it time and make her prove it this time. And don't go back too soon. I did that once, too.