lillamy- just read over your post again-- thanks for the military esque email info advice. i tend to over explain (shocker right? you'd never guess that from my posts here! LOL!) and i need to stop. since early this fall interaction with AH has been okay for the most part. when it's not it is generally bc i am trying to communicate more with him than is necessary and expecting him to be responsible or respectful. i need to keep in mind the whole expectations issue. i need to have absolutely none with AH or his family and i will reduce my frustration a lot...