Thanks for making me smile TC999. I might have to enlist someone to read AH's emails for me. Not a bad idea. In all fairness he didn't start the conversation about mommy dearest. I did. I went looking for something from him (compassion?, respect?) that I ought to have known better than to expect.
Tell me, am I being awful if I say, for my well being, that I am no longer willing to do all that I have for years to foster a r/s between AH's parents and my girls? I mean, AH can do this too right? I feel like it is my responsibilty to maintain the grandparent r/s with the girls and if I don't, I will be blamed (and badmouthed to the girls bc this has happened already and in front of me no less) for them having a limited r/s with AH's parents. They expect me to coordinate visits, have the girls call, etc... AH's parents are grown adults capable of calling or asking to visit but they don't. They sit back and criticize what I do and I spin my wheels trying to appease. I want to be done with it all and not feel obligated to foster any r/s at all with them. If AH wants to foster one, great. Is that mean of me? I don't know where boundaries end and being unnecessarily harsh begins. Am I harming my girls if I don't foster a r/s with their grandparents for them? I just don't want to have to have anything to do with AH's family at all- including seeing them, seeing their # on my caller id, etc...
I guess maybe I am just wrapped up still in worrying about how they will feel/interpret/react to what I do/don't do. I really need a good strong dose of f*** it don't I!?