Originally Posted by
blwninthewind 
He isn't drinking though. that's the big huge part....even though he wants to sometimes...he isn't doing it.
(snip)
He says he can't talk to be about issues because I react badly...
I think it's because I won't accept all the blame, won't let him manipulate the situation and I refuse to let him hurt my feelings. All things I did BEFORE i attended alanon.
What do you get when you sober up a horse thief? A sober horse thief. Take the booze out of the man...does he become your ideal partner?
IMO, he's still a King Baby...here's an awesome SR linky about
King Baby Syndrome
And yes, you're bang on. Your King Baby is angry that things aren't "perfectly fine" with you in your rightful place (i.e. under his thumb), taking blame for all the things you did to him.
If the marriage hasn't changed, then perhaps it's time to look at what YOU can change...