Seems to me, from reading your post, that your AH isn't actually interested in recovery; he's interested in retaining his hold on you, either by accusing you of "ignoring him", of "not talking with him", or by outright insulting you, all the while continuing to drink. He also appears to be quite shaken by your attempts at focusing on YOURSELF and YOUR happiness instead of his drama and manipulation...so he's pulling out all the stops and confusing the heck out of you.
You have a right to be happy, whether with him or without him. You have a right to explore and question exactly what it is that makes you happy. Just because King Baby is stamping his foot, demanding attention while demeaning you, doesn't mean you can't continue to search for your happiness and fulfillment. Are you attending al-anon or individual counselling?