I thought that once I stopped caring/interacting with my inlaws they would leave me the f*** alone. I've never done a thing to them and it always bothered me that after every visit there was inevitably a phone call from MIL or SIL to AH telling him what I'd done that hurt them and it turned into a fight. Usually it ended with me apologizing for something I hadn't done just to get it to stop. Once I stopped owning behavior that was fabricated, it got so much worse. So, I really thought that I was finally free of being hurt by them and after I stupidly read MIL's email last week, it all came flooding back. Then I approached AH about it and it's just like old times right now-- I am physically sick (anxiety, frustration, sadness) and just getting bombarded with messages about how wrong I am. I can't block AH's email bc we communicate that way mostly about the girls (bc I prefer it to trying to talk to him). I know I can delete without reading and will from now on the instant I realize it's not about the girls.
I got sucked in to the madness and it feels horrible. I shouldn't care about any of it, or what they think of me or the accusations that get thrown around.... but for the past few days I have.
I don't want credit for trying to be the bigger person, I just don't want to be blasted by them when I am doing everything I can to keep my distance.
Thanks for listening to me vent. I need to have a good cry tonight I think and just get it out (sometimes trying to fight it and hold it in winds up being worse than letting myself melt down after the girls are asleep of course).
Mike, I totally need to look up that book. I could use a dose of that mentality right now!
Tomorrow will be a better day.