Hugs, WTBH.
I'm sorry that you're struggling with this so right now. I can tell you that in my experience, it is just right now. Later you won't struggle with it as much. I'm not sure it's that I truly accept I won't get the acknowledgement from XAH; or if it gets easier to ignore; or if it's just that other things in my life slowly start to get more of my focus and pushes that, not only to the back burner, but off the stove completely for a while. That analogy doesn't really fit... hmmm.
I do know that when I started trying to heal from the abuse and SA in our marriage, I was incredibly hurt (understatement) and I needed, I CRAVED, an acknowledgement, at least, from XAH that what he did was wrong and hurtful. And I wanted that acknowledgement to come without his usual blameshifting: "I'm sorry I did xxx, but you shouldn't have yyy."
Both Anvil and Lillamy make excellent points that I could not have heard while I was in the middle of that need for acknowledgement. It will never, never, never-ever come from XAH. It has to be enough that I know it was wrong. Because I do know it was wrong of him to do what he did. I do not, and never did, deserve to be treated they way he did. And neither do you.
I think the hardest part for me has been related to my feelings. First even knowing what I was feeling. For so long it was based on what he was feeling, how much he'd drank. Some days I still don't know what to name my emotions. And then accepting that however I was feeling was OK. That emotions are neither good, nor bad.
It's hard, so hard some days, and that is OK, too. There are days where I want rail at the Universe, to scream off the Point into the wind. And there are days where my core being is quiet and I can accept that the acknowledgement/apology/amends will never come from XAH. *shrug*
You'll feel better. Just breathe for now and KNOW that you do not deserve to be treated the way he and his family treat you.
:ghug3