All I want to say is that you really sound quite normal and in my opinion you seem like a bit of a perfectionist. (Being too hard on yourself). This is just a guess from my perspective here. It almost sounds like you're taking your anger at your mom out on yourself.
I'm not sure what to say about Mom. Maybe it's better to leave her alone for a while and let her work out her own issues. Be nice, don't hurt her any more than she's already hurting (probably) but don't allow her to abuse you. I used to think that people should never abandon family members, but now I think otherwise. Toxic people should not be allowed in your life, no matter who they are.
And about women friends, I rather agree, I prefer hanging out with men. Women are so catty and untrustworthy (in general). Of course I am an exception, lol.