Last weekend, I was looking online for ways to help my long suffering DP and his pot head AS. I stumbled upon these boards and had the biggest learning experience of my life. After reading so many people's experiences, I went from taking the first steps of "trying to help" (Yeah, right; as if the family are going to listen to an outsider's pearls of wisdom!) to refusing to get involved, in a very short space of time. I was so very close to becoming codependent. I will never be able to thank you all for helping me see clearly just in time.