Zoso -- You should know that "the rules" don't apply to those with BPD. They really don't have the capacity to feel much empathy while they are so worried about their own well-being and getting their bottomless pit of needs met. I don't mean to sound critical...this is the way they are and they can't help it, really. Compassion is the only way out of this emotional pain, my friend. Just be glad you are not HER. Her hell will continue for the rest of her days. Yours will be over soon enough. (((hugs)))