LOL Speedy--
Part of the issue with me and my son is that I've talked way too much. I am what you'd call an emotional person, and my son is more Vulcan. It's actually pretty hard for him to describe how he feels. At rehab, he wrote it out.
So as much as I'd like to talk with him about sex, it is not appropriate--he already feels like I am too much in his business. I agree--but if he could make smart choices, I wouldn't have to be in his business.
So I am trying to balance on a wire--letting him go, letting him experience the consequences of his behavior--and doing normal, healthy parenting.
Maybe some of you will laugh at this: Before all this happened with my son, I thought if you "loved" your kid, and reasoned with him, that this was good parenting. Uh-huh. Yeah, right.
I learn so much here. I have much to learn. I work the AA program, and am now attending Al-Anon meetings. I know this program will work if I work it.
I love my son, and need to change as much as he does, if he are to have a better relationship. I will do my part of the work, which includes how to discipline him without anger or excessive talking; he can take care of his. I learned a lot from posting this thread, actually. In the end, I didn't get into his business about the girl, who wisely took care of herself. I know he has used condoms in the past--I did have the sex talk with him early on--so he seems to be responsible about condom use.
I love him. What I don't know yet is how to love him exactly as he is. THAT is true loving. And if I can learn to do that, perhaps it will help our relationship, perhaps not. But it sure as hell will help me.