Thanks logo! This helps a lot. I tried to convince myself I was not in it to change him. Now I see that it may have been a sense of responsibility for him which makes me his mother. That is the same thing. I wanted him to change and I held on to a fairy tale that love would prevail so he would say. What he meant is that our mutual addiction would prevail. Think it's time to stop worrying about whether he loved me and start worrying why I stopped loving myself. Can I still pray for him from a distance? Should I have a funeral for him in my heart? Or is that still too much attachment. If he contacts me in any way I ignore him forever? My guess is this will take time to stop asking questions. Thanks again for all feedback. I think I have some soul searching and self worth repairing to do. Goodnight...