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Old 01-30-2012, 10:15 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Impurrfect
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Newuser))) - Welcome to SR! I'm both a recovering addict (RA) and have loved ones who are still A's (addicts).

I spent decades with A's, 20+ with one who was what I would call a "functional alcoholic" - worked, paid bills, all that good stuff. He was great..except when he wasn't.

Addiction is a life-long thing. I've been in recovery for 5 years because it's the most important thing in my life. That ex (I have THREE ex A bf's) I recently heard is married and his wife is walking on eggshells to try to keep him from turning into the drunk jerk he can be. The other 2 ex's? Don't know about 1, the last one is dead from his addictions.

When we say "oh, but he's so great...." then have to add "except when he's doing drugs" that's a big red flag.

It takes time to absorb what all addiction involves. The stickies at the top of this forum have some really good information.

My best advice to you is go to al-anon or nar-anon meetings, read here, and pay attention to his ACTIONS. Words mean nothing when we're using...we'll tell you whatever we think you want to hear, often lie even if you catch us red-handed.

This is a great site where people know what you're going through.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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