Sunshine, you laid out a thoughtful counterpoint. Again, let me focus on me:
What I found out by snooping made me sad--if this is the way he is going to treat girls now, I don't see it changing in the future. I certainly can''t change it, but God can.
If you can belive it, I am thinking more of the girls he hurts. But I suppose that once his reputation is made known, no decent girl will give him a chance.
In the end, it all works out the way it's supposed to. I am still having trouble distinguishing my codependent, controlling behavior from healthy mothering. That he's a teen now--and one fresh out of rehab--makes it more difficult.
I like to come here to get seasoned opinions from those who've been there, done that, and then come to a decision. But I agree that I can't see that even gently trying to bring this up would achieve a good result.