ISOHumility

While he was in rehab, my son wrote to his girlfriend, and she wrote back. He is 15 and she is 14, and she really liked him. I'd never met her, but I sensed that she was a "good girl" attracted to my "bad boy." (You know what I mean.)

Anyway, he really seemed to like her--wrote her letters while in rehab, couldn't wait to see her. They went to a movie the day after he got out--then nothing. He'd said he wanted her to accompany us on the day trips we're planning to take on the weekends, and we're planning one for next week, but he never mentioned her after Friday. He seemed to cool on her right after the movie, on Friday night.

The upshot: Because she won't have sex with him, he dropped her. I have deduced this from reading his texts and her letters to him.

I need to focus on my snooping. I don't feel guilty, exactly--maybe sad, that my son treats girls this way. (He's an addict--surprise, surprise.) He is 15, not an adult. Is it okay to snoop if you are the mother of a teenager who has broken your trust? Or is it always wrong? I certainly didn't like what I found, so maybe that--and the fact that I don't feel I can mention this issue to him--is my "lesson learned."

Is it his business how he treats girls--and women as he matures? Is there anything I could do, or should do, even indirectly? I am upset that he would treat girls in this manner. (He's done it before.) But I don't want to do ANYTHING that interferes with his Higher Power's plans for him.

I don't have an Al-Anon sponsor yet. Can anyone shed some light on this for me?