I had a dream that he actually let go of my hand and disappeared. It is hard to accept. My addict was my love of my life and we had a 3 year old. Divorce was not in my vocab, but it happened. Its soo painful. It gets better, but I still have my bad days. I'm trying to focus on me and my son and have realized that we deserve better. This world is so big and life is so short...there is so much out there to do and see. Don't know if this helps. Take care of you. He is an addict. Blessings.