When I think of what my life had become with my XAGF in it, I'm relieved I no longer have to live my life that way. It was just drama, day after day, week after week. She was incapable of the emotional and cognitive regulation that a healthier person may take for granted.
I met this morning with one of my friends from Al Anon, who's going through his own hell with his qualifier. He asked me what I learned from my experience. With hesitation, I learned that I was capable of deep love and empathy, and what the program has taught me to do is love in a way that I'm not as compromised. So, I made a really strong good faith effort. When I recognized that it wasn't healthy and only enabled my AGF, I stepped back and got out of her way.
So, today, I'm OK. Showing her compassion and praying for her safety has helped me. Being thankful for the gifts I do have and the people in my life has also helped. I have no desire to go back to a situation where I'm abused, taken for granted, or compromised. I have no desire to have her in my life ever again. It's simply not going to happen.
Reading the stories here and receiving feedback from all of you has helped more than you'll ever know. So, thank you.
