Originally Posted by
catlovermi 
Many of our parents here have found it useful to establish house boundaries around behaviors as well as actual substance abuse, for example dishonesty, disrespect, failure to match word with deed, failure to comply with house rules, etc.
Amen to that!
Landofoz, I recently allowed my 34-year-old addict daughter to move back in with me. I had taken her in once before, several years ago, and it was an unmitigated disaster, with me kicking her out after a month.
This time I have 8 more years of codependency recovery under my belt. She had to sign a contract as soon as she walked in the door. I wanted to make it clear what I would/wouldn't tolerate. She knows the consequences of crossing those boundaries will find her out on the curb again.
I am digging even harder into
my own recovery. I attend Alanon, have an Alanon sponsor, and am going to re-read the book "Codependent No More" (I get something different out of it every time). I also attend therapy on a regular basis.
She has several stipulations in place via the courts because of her most recent felony drug charges, like getting a job. She has resources, including an employment specialist through the department of corrections.
I would not agree to letting her move back here without a solid plan in place.
This is temporary. My job is not to police medications or meetings. I continue to do what I need to do for me. If her behaviors are unacceptable, she's out the door. She has a ton of things to do around this house to "earn" her portion of the rent.
I am going to go with her to see the employment specialist as I want to make it clear to that gal that there is a move-out date, and it's up to AD to bust her butt getting ready for that move else she will be homeless again.