Originally Posted by
Christena 
Please help.
How do I stay detached when I am lonely and desperately need to connect to him again?
Christena, I am also South African. Welcome to the board. This place saved my sanity.
The above just stood out to me. Do you really desperately need to connect to him? What would happen if you don't? What would happen if you re-connect with yourself again in stead?
I was married to an abusive alcoholic many years ago and what happened was that I totally disconnected with myself. When I finally left him, I had no idea who I was and needed to find that out all over again. I discovered that I wasn't this horrible person my ex wanted me to believe I was.
Sometimes detachment means to start focusing on yourself and what is good for you and your life.