Please help.
I am married to a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober for several months and then last night he got totally drunk again, told me (and all the neighbours) that he had had the best sex of his life with an 23 year old work college and then preceeded to rip my home office apart.
I don't know what to do? I work from home and without the income I generate I will not be able to pay the bills as most of his salary goes towards drinking and "partying". He seems to have replaced drinking with sex and makes it very clear to me that he no longer finds me attractive and that there are many other willing partners out there.
I have tried praying, keeping myself busy, meditating, but somehow peace evades me.
I'm not even sure I understand what detaching means. The people at al-anon keep telling me to detach and focus on myself. But how do I focus on myself when he destroys the very things I need to sustain myself and our home?
How do I stay detached when I know that he is getting ready to go out with a woman half his age and that he is going to spend money that we desperately need to pay the bills on her?
How do I stay detached when I am lonely and desperately need to connect to him again?
He makes it extremely difficult for me to leave the house, i.e. he hides my car keys or locks me out of the house if I do manage to go out.
He also destroys my clothes and other things if I "disobey" him and leave without his permission and the whole time I am out I worry about what is going to happen when I get home, as I know from experience that he does not like to be "disobeyed" and that I will be severely "punished" if I do try and live my own life.
Pleaes help, I really am at my wits end and do not know where else to turn.
