My family and friends (the few that stuck it out) finally started to 'accept' my amends when I was about 3 years sober.
My 'actions' all that time were my amends. My 'actions' showed I was changing. That is what they believed. And the fact that also because of my 'actions' I had rebuilt a lot of their trust.
Really 'small' things. If I said I would be somewhere at a certain time I was.
I was working again, and hadn't called in sick from the first day, not even once, I showed up on time or early for work. I kept commitments I made.
Yes, addiction/alcoholism is very insidious and as it 'creeps' deeper and deeper into the A and the family is destroys.
It destroys:
relationships
love
trust
self worth
etc
But, .................................... YOU can rebuild yourself ((((zoso)))) if you work on you, the inner you, to see what 'drew' you to this person, what 'told' you to stay, etc
Given time, your attitudes, will change as you learn more and more about this very debilitating disease.
And, always try and remember, we are walking with you in spirit.
Love and hugs,