From my AH recently (we are separated; he still loves his booze):
Him: "My 50th birthday is coming up soon. I'd like to have a party." (Translation: I want you to throw me a party)
Me: Well, I don't think that's in the cards right now. (Trying hard not to laugh)
Him: Well, that's OK, because it couldn't be the party I'D like to have anyway.
A few days later...
Him: I talked to my friend. He said that when he turned 50, he had, like, SEVERAL parties all month long! So that is what I am going to do. He is going to host a little party for me.
Me: (Thinking...said friend is a wine buff but not an alcoholic. Wine will be the focus of the entire party) "Well, have a great time!"
Him: I'd love for you to go!
Me: (Thinking...."yeah, over my dead body!") "Well, I don't think that's in the cards right now..."
Him: I wish we could have fun together again!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!