Originally Posted by
tjp613 
I can tell you exactly why she did that. It's not about "twisting the knife" in the usual sense...her ultimate objective is not to hurt you. Her ultimate objective is to get a reaction from you!! She would be very gratified if you would fly into a tizzie -- ANY kind of tizzie -- to demonstrate how much you CARE that she is gone. She is looking for validation of her existence. You are not reacting at all, which says to her that you don't care at all one way or the other. THAT must feel like absolute crap to her.
She's spinning out of control for sure...just be glad you're not in the middle of it. Do NOT get sucked in or it may take weeks to get back out.
That's my $0.02.
Wow...that's a twist I didn't consider. I mean...
She breaks up via text message, attaches a picture of her and the new, gleefully admits to sleeping with (at least) two other men when she was with me, makes a dramatic show of returning the most precious thing I've ever bought her...and somehow it's all about her trying to get a rise out of me to show her I care that she's gone.
Six months ago, I'd balk at this reasoning. And then I started reading about BPD...my guess is you're dead on the mark.
I'll show that I'm hurt to my friends. I'll write about being hurt here. But she'll never know what I'm thinking or feeling.
Tonight's topic at my meeting was about detachment. And when I shared, I said that you best be prepared for what happens when you detach from your qualifier. Things may not go the way you thought they would. And right now, I'm detached in the sense where I no longer wish to have anything to do with her, but I pray to God to look after her. Pick a reason -- addiction, BPD -- it doesn't matter. She's in God's hands. I want
nothing to do with her whatsoever.