Hugs, hugs and more hugs WTBH.
I shed an awful lot of friends when I got sober and an awful lot more when I started recovering from adult child issues in al-anon.
A couple years ago my therapist told me something that changed my life (that's a kind of throwaway phrase these days but I really mean it).
I was in deep, deep pain over the ending of my relationship with XABF and he was the third relationship in a row where codependency or a disorder/addiction had been at play.
I told her I was the common denominator - it was my fault and I had some kind of chip that magnetically attracted these people to me. This is what she told me:
"You don't attract them - you just don't REJECT them. They'll try their shennanigans with any one at all but at the first sign of the shenannigans, most healthy people say "see you later" and run for the hills."
She then listed "tests" from the beginning of my relationship that I had "passed" - pretty much showing that I was willing to accommodate his disease.
The news that I was ALLOWED to reject, or not interact, with people who were sick was a complete revelation. I'd been raised to accept drama and care for people who were in the grips of addiction - therapy and al-anon taught me I have every right to detach from people whose issues, illnesses and agendas mess with my serenity. Now I'm pretty good at even keeping some people in my life and just letting all of the above be their business and none of mine.
I'm pretty militant about my serenity now that I have it and at the first whiff of spyware and strangulation I think (hope) I would have said "good luck with that!" and put a whole heap of distance between myself and these women.
There was a time that kind of drama would have attracted me - it honestly doesn't anymore. And a lot of friends didn't like the change in me one bit. Some friendships fizzled, some came to a head but they ended.
I'm sorry that you're going through this awful situation but my two cents are that it's a great sign your recovery is progressing and I hope that you can see past the yuck to feel that.
Hugs (again)
SL