wanttobehealthy

I have a group of friends that I have known through some difficult times with AH (not ex yet but not at home for anyone wondering).

I shared something pretty personal last week and shared that I was feeling really down and full of self doubt. I shared that I'd made some mistakes recently and was picking up the pieces and fixing what I'd screwed up etc...

I just needed to vent I guess and I was open to whatever feedback they had to give.

Perhaps the woman I am closest to (or was) responded and in the course of doing so said that I was claiming to be full of doubt to have an excuse to wear it as a badge and was trying to take the easy way out. She also insinuated that SHE knew better than I what was going on in my life and essentially accused me of lying.

So, I am upset. I shared something I wasn't proud of with what I thought were good friends and got a response that is frankly reminiscent of AH in response.

I tried to clarify and even said that a few specific statements she made were hurtful and "defended" myself I guess by giving evidence to prove I was not being dishonest.

All that did was start an ugly ball rolling of more accusations and before I knew it I was in a situation like one I'd been in with AH so many times where rational thinking makes no difference and accusations continued to be thrown at me and I stupidly defended myself.

I am kind of shocked and beyond sad at all of this. I have no idea what's going on with 2 of these women in particular and it's clear that my assessment of them as close friends was waaaaaay off.

They have both told me that I take things way too personally and that being defensive proves they were right.

I think that politely stating that a few very specific statements were hurtful (bc they are based on facts that aren't true) isn't taking things too personally and more importantly what is it that is wrong with me that makes me attract people who treat me like this?!?!?!?!?

Maybe I do take things too personally, but when I open up, and am blindsided with judgement and rudeness in response simply bc I dare to say "please don't treat me this way", what am I to do?

I know this is all vague-- I figured the back story was irrelevant (it has to do with my mother and sister and not setting great boundaries with them).

Right at this moment I feel I am the one who is at fault and that I am to blame and I am a screw up. I HATE that people I trusted (like AH) are acting this way. And instead of being able to detach from their words and assume that it's their issue and not take it personally, it's literally eating at me.

They also, in a low blow fashion, made a point to commenting that perhaps AH wasn't really the problem after all and turned on me like crazy.

Are there people out there who are REALLY so insecure that they treat others this way when they are called out on their bad behavior?

How can I continue to be such a collosally bad judge of character?!