Back when I was still going to therapy, but really not ready to detach from XABF, my therapist suggested I have complex PTSD and referred me to a psychiatrist for medication. Too bad I never went back to her, never went to the shrink, and went right back into the cycle of abuse with XABF.
I'm going to the shrink this week, and since I know this is what I have (and guess it doesn't just go away on its own because here I am so many months later after separating from him physically still exhibiting every symptom), I was wondering if any of you had been treated for this and what the treatment entailed. From what I understand antidepressants are used to treat the condition, as well as benzos for acute anxiety.
I found this quote, which hit home because I feel so weak and stupid for letting him do this to me, and so many people think I am just as crazy or at fault as he is:
"The current PTSD diagnosis often does not capture the severe psychological harm that occurs with prolonged, repeated trauma. For example, long-term trauma may affect a healthy person's self-concept and adaptation. The symptoms of such prolonged trauma have been mistaken for character weakness, but this is an unfair characterization."
-http://anxiety.emedtv.com
Here are the symptoms:
- Changes in the ability to control emotions, which may include symptoms such as persistent sadness, suicidal thoughts, explosive anger, or inhibited anger
- Changes in consciousness, such as forgetting traumatic events, reliving traumatic events, or having episodes in which one feels detached from one's mental processes or body
- Changes in how the person views himself or herself, which may include a sense of helplessness, shame, guilt, stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings
- Changes in how the person views the perpetrator, such as attributing total power to the perpetrator or becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, including a preoccupation with revenge
- Changes in relationships with others, including isolation, distrust, or a repeated search for a rescuer
- Changes in one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.
Maybe some of you haven't been diagnosed but recognize the symptoms in yourself. I also have flashbacks, mostly of the strangulation and car accident that was a result of an abusive attack. I also read on the interwebs that this condition is often misdiagnosed as depression and/or general anxiety disorder.
